Splashed across every gossip magazine is the unlikely face of Susan Boyle, who shocked millions with her incredible singing on Britain’s Got Talent. Naturally, we were dying to find out which sign could belt out a perfect ballad — and put a dreamy smile on Simon Cowell’s grouchy mug. Turns out, the self-described “short and plump” instant star is an Aries. Perfect! Some of the most powerful, amazing songstresses are Aries: Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Diana Ross and Chaka Khan. With a little help from a glam squad, who knows? The sweet Scottish songbird could find some real stage presence to match her soaring voice.

Panic about swine flu is rising to a fever pitch, as more cases are reported worldwide. While it’s certainly an alarming epidemic, people are wondering just how scared they need to be. A look at the stars shows that the panic will definitely spread faster than the virus, even as we take major precautions.

A large part of the mass hysteria is the conjunction (joining) of Jupiter and Neptune in Aquarius. For starters, Aquarius is an Air sign that also rules groups and society, priming the pump for an airborne, communicable disease. The WHO has called the outbreak a “public health emergency of international concern.” Jupiter rules international issues and expansion — no surprise the epidemic is making its way from Mexico to the U.S., Canada and Spain. Neptune is the watery planet of illusions, which explains the fear and confusion — and in mythology, Neptune lords over the underworld (it doesn’t get much lower than swine).

Hopefully, today’s Gemini moon will clear up misconceptions. Gemini rules facts, journalism and communication. Here’s hoping (from our desks in New York), that we all get the right information fast.

We called it again! Just as we predicted, the two eliminations on this week’s American Idol were Sagittarius Anoop Desai and Scorpio Lil’ Rounds. The stars were not aligned in their favor, and they went on home. Lucky for Taurus Matt Giraud, who received last week’s “judge’s save,” the Sun went into Taurus on Monday. With the Sun in his sign, he had an extra bit of saving grace, as did Taurus Alison Iraheta, who was also in this week’s bottom three.

So who has to watch out next week? Gemini Kris Allen. With the Taurus Sun in his low-power twelfth house, he may not have the energy to go the distance. In fact, he may start feeling run-down by the stress and grueling rehearsal schedule. Kris, if you want to stay in the running, be sure to rest up, and bring a little glamorous edge to your performance, perhaps wear something vintage or sing an old classic.

The other remaining contests are Aquarius Adam Lambert and a pack of Bulls: Danny, Alison and Matt, who are all born under the sign of Taurus. The Sun is in Adam’s fourth house of home and family. While we still have bets on Adam as a winner, he’s got to be extra careful for the next four weeks if he wants the title.

On April 20th, the Sun began its annual journey through Taurus, the zodiac’s second sign. Prior to this, the Aries Sun brought a month of excitement and new beginnings. Now, Taurus helps us slow down, stabilize and build talk into reality. Some of last month’s ideas will now seem like frivolous pipe dreams, while others will now benefit from the practical planning energy of Taurus.

Taurus rules the zodiac’s second house of money, sensuality and daily environment. It’s time to think more about quality than quantity. Enhance your world with little touches of luxury, especially as a reward for hard work. Taurus is an Earth sign, so it’s a great time to plant flowers or an herb garden, and to upgrade your meals with organic or locally-grown ingredients from the farmer’s market. Given the turbulent economy, budget-savvy Taurus is a helpmate for those of us who want to live well without breaking the bank. Slow down and savor each moment.

Big sigh of relief! Love-planet Venus, which has been retrograde (backward) since March 6, returns to its full-power direct motion today. Venus rules relationships, interpersonal harmony, beauty and peace. If you’ve been making more war than love in the last six weeks, chalk it up to Venus retrograde. Self-care and exercise may have gone out the window during this cycle. Now, it will be easier to get back to yoga class, find time for date nights, work on a creative project, and keep your homefront a peaceful place. That’s the best news we’ve heard in weeks!

Capricorn Mel Gibson made headlines this week when Robyn, his wife of 28 years, filed for divorce. The couple, who have seven kids (Capricorn rules fatherhood), actually separated in 2006—when Mel was arrested for a DUI and caught making anti-Semitic remarks. So why now? On April 12, love-planet Venus retrograde backed into Pisces (it was in Aries since March 6), joining Mars and unpredictable Uranus. Pisces rules Mel’s third house of communication and journalism. Not only did the story break that very day, but Robyn’s sudden serving of divorce papers fits the direct, sudden energy of this cycle.

So what’s ahead for the Braveheart star? Transformational Pluto is retrograde in Capricorn, which could bring out a few more dark secrets. Already, reporters are doing exposes on Mel’s church and its unconventional beliefs. (Interestingly, Capricorn rules tradition and is symbolized by the Mountain Goat—Mel’s “tradionalist” church is built on a mountaintop.) Will he break away from the very institution he founded? Anything’s possible. One thing’s for sure: the story isn’t over.

It’s time for our weekly Idol update, people! And yes, the stars were right again. Last week, we cautioned that Taurus contestants Alison Iraheta, Danny Gokey and Matt Giraud needed to be the most careful. With the Sun in Aries, their challenging 12th house, it’s been hard to work up that crowd-wowing energy. Indeed, Matt was the bottom contestant. Thanks to the one-time-only “judge’s save,” he remains on the show…for now. Next week, two contestants will be sent home as a result. By that time, the Sun will be in Taurus, so Matt may surprise us with a stellar comeback. Who’s in the hotseat during Taurus time? Kris, Lil, Anoop and possibly even Adam.

So long, Scotty! Cancerian Scott McIntyre was sent packing on last night’s Idol. Chalk it up to cosmic fate: the Libra full moon blasted into Scott’s fourth house of home and family. The pull of his roots was simply too powerful.

A couple weeks ago, we also cautioned that Scott should step out from behind the piano. Like the symbolic Crab, he hid in his shell, using the piano as his protective armor. Alas, this may have blocked a deeper connection with his audience.

Who needs to be careful next week? Tauruses Alison Iraheta, Matt Giraud and even (yes) Danny Gokey.

Cooperate, will ya? Today’s full moon in Libra emphasizes partnership, compromise, and togetherness. Pick up a guitar and sing “Kumbaya together”—even if you want to bash it over someone’s head. This is an excellent day for resolving conflict and seeing another person’s point of view. The moon’s floodlight helps you understand what she was trying to say all along. It wasn’t crazy talk after all! With diplomatic Libra, you can agree to disagree, and there will soon be peace on Earth. Wishful thinking, but Libra’s an idealist. So walk a mile in another girl’s stilletos—and suspend all judgment until you do.

On the season premiere of The Hills, roommates-turned-rivals Lauren Conrad (an Aquarius) and Heidi Montag (a Virgo) spilled a few emotional tears. But is a full-scale reconciliation in the stars? Hell no. There’s a thin line between love and hate for Virgo and Aquarius, and we’ve seen it get ugly before.

Take Virgo Nicole Richie and Aquarius Paris Hilton. Once BFFs, things got complicated during The Simple Life, and their friendship fizzled. Although they reunited while dating the Madden twins, the friendship cooled when Paris split from Benji.  Just like her fellow Virgin Montag, when it came down to brass tacks, Richie chose love over friendship.

Then there were the train-wreck marriages of Aquarius Denise Richards and Virgo Charlie Sheen. Or Virgo Michael Jackson and Aquarius Lisa-Marie Presley. But let’s not even go there today. It makes us dizzy.

Aquarius is the sign of friendship who loves to party, while the Virgo woman stands by her man. These signs, which are five signs apart on the zodiac wheel, have very little in common at the end of the day. After the party’s over and the air-kisses blown, these signs can bring out each other’s worst—gossipping, hating and competing for Alpha female status in their social circles. With expansive Jupiter in Aquarius, it’s for the best that L.C. branches out and does her own thing, leaving the California cattiness behind.